September 1, 06: Settling too early...
Is it smart? Every day I visit blogs and websites of these girls. Girls as young as 16, having babies, getting married, getting divorced. Some of these have gotten pregnant by accident, and I can understand that. Accidents happen, right? What I can't understand are girls at said age, who plans to get pregnant and married to a guy they met two months ago. Hello?? You're 16! What about going to school? Partying with your friends? Just seems strange to me that you will give up being a teenager, when you can easily have kids in 5-10 years anyways?
Come on.. no education, bad economy, no-where to live (besides at their parents' house... right, lucky parents..) no jobs. Is it good to bring a child into that? And that's just the girls in question. The guys they're choosing aren't exactly the brightest of the bunch either. If they're lucky enough to have a job, it's minimum wage, crappy hours or something that you wouldn't consider doing for the rest of your life. Then you can think, what if I had waited 5 years to settle with a guy? Maybe I could find someone with an education? A better job? I'm not saying money is everything, but wouldn't it be nice to have some extra money, or even have enough money each month to pay the bills? Or food and gas?
I admit it, I wanted to settle with the guy I dated when I was 18-19. I lived with him for over two years. I wanted to have babies, get married. I thought I loved him. Then I started thinking; Why was I with him? Did I have feelings for him? I thought that I couldn't do better than him, that no-one else would be interested in me. So, I settled, for a while, with the thought of being with him for the rest of my life. I was 23 when I decided "enough is enough", moved out and used 6 months to find myself, to find out what I really wanted. I worked hard at my job, I spent time figuring out what I wanted with my life. And I dated several guys before I met the man of my dreams.
You don't really have any idea on how much you change as a person, from the age of 15-16 to 22-23. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but I felt that way about myself. When you're 16 you're tired of school, you want a boyfriend, preferably an older guy, you want to be an adult. You try to get a job maybe. No-one will hire you, because a) you have no education and b) you have no experience. So, instead you decide to get pregnant. You get married. You're a housewife at 17. I don't really think that's healthy or "normal". Some people would argue "but in the past all females had children when they were 14 etc." That might be true, but what were the options? None. Today you can do whatever you want.
For those who succeeds with babies and marriage at such early age, I admire you. I can only image how much hard work it is, how many early mornings and late nights you have.
Also, being divorced at 20 can't be too cool, right?
I'm not saying that everyone have it like this. You can be 17 and be a much better mother than any 30-year-old. People have different views on life, different thoughts about themselves, on what they deserve in life.
Don't settle with second best. Don't be happy with someone else's left-overs. Take time to find your match, your equal.
This is my opinions. I'm not saying "this is how it is", or "this is how it should be". Agree or disagree. I'd like to hear your views.
And I have to say how lucky I consider myself to be. I have a wonderful man who loves me, a loving family, a great house, a job that I enjoy, nice colleagues. Everything really. (I want a baby too, but we're working on that one ;)
